#humor

Kitchen Haiku

~ Paula Harmon ~ 3 Comments

Hungry teenagers:
Spurn gourmet, demand junk food.
I weep as I cook.

Keep your head down low
Get outside quick and breathe deep
Dad’s frying chillies

Would it count towards
My five a day, if I ate
Vegetarians?

Dishwasher broken!
Husband! Disembowel it!
Mend it or wash up!

[2 hours later]

Bother Drat Bother
Dishwasher completely dead
Guests come tomorrow

Exotic cuisine
Without right ingredients:
Optimistic Dad

The scent of orange,
Cherries and almond essence
Recall Gran’s kitchen

Tell me to do it
To cook just like your mother
And I’ll add hemlock

bowl

Copyright 2016 by Paula Harmon. All rights belong to the author and material may not be copied without the author’s express permission

In the Sun

~ Paula Harmon ~ Leave a comment

He stands, lithe and supple,
His bronzed limbs glisten in the sun
He brushes back his hair and smiles
King of the beach
Walking like a lion to the water’s edge
Confident in his clinging shorts
Aware of the eyes of women on him
He breathes deep and his chest swells

She poses on the beach towel
Buxom, her full breasts tanned and billowing
The curve of her hips enticing
Queen of the beach
Sashaying like a leopard to the water’s edge
Filling her bikini with allure
Aware of the eyes of men upon her
She stands and poses, hand on hip

They stand together, King and Queen
Seeing themselves beautiful.
Let them dream.
Hide the mirrors.
No-one imagines themselves
Middle-aged, plump and grey
That’s not what holidays are for.

summer beach

Copyright 2016 by Paula Harmon. All rights belong to the author and material may not be copied without the author’s express permission

Pursuit

~ Paula Harmon ~ 4 Comments

Sweat drenched my face and back. My throbbing feet tried to increase the pace, making my heart pound. I inhaled sourness and my mouth was dry. Tearful, I knew I mustn’t stop.

Looking up, I saw in the mirror a red faced woman, running on the treadmill as if Cerberus pursued her. The monitor showed she’d burned five hundred calories and yet she ran faster, every second of the torture worthwhile as she got thinner and fitter.

Too bad I was looking at the reflection of the woman next to me. Me, I’d barely burnt off a packet of crisps.

running

Copyright 2016 by Paula Harmon. All rights belong to the author and material may not be copied without the author’s express permission